Yes, it’s been a while, but like Ms. Bey, I’ve been busy. So sit down, no, BOW down, because the bitch is back.
Celebrating her world tour, I’ve chosen to go with the perfectly lopsided, beehive/afro/updo that our girl is rockin’ in her promo vids. Look at that thing! Yeah, she knows it crooked, that don’t matter though, if y’all showed up rockin’ a crooked weave, you’d be slapped. And you’d deserve it. Bey rocks this though. Yes, it’s an excessive amount of hair, but Bey could be bald too and she’d still make Ri-Ri or Lardy Gargar look like swine. The bitch is back ladies, BOW. DOWN.
Yeah, I know it’s been a while! But just like our girl Bey, we both be busy with out lives! Winnin’ Grammy’s and shit. This weave is Beyonce lookin’ fresh to death but with a business side. She came to win. No if’s and’s or but’s about it. Of course, if you’re Bey, what else do you expect. Beyonce wanted nothing to take away from the goal of winning. She pulled it back and is laid back. She don’t care. Look at her, spyin’ out from behind the curtain, eyein’ up the competition as if they even had the chance. This look tells the hatas to sit back and back off, this Grammy is goin’ to the Queen B. She lets her hair, just like her work, stand for itself. The hair may be simple, but Bey is NO basic bitch.
Happy Fourth, y’all! This weave takes Beyonce’s many weaves to a new, symbolic level. Giving those other, basic bitches yet another reason to go back to their caves and hate on my girl, B. Remember though, hatas will always and forever make her FAMOUS!! With this weave, B is reppin’ America at her finest. Free, flowing, and fine as hell. Letting it all hang out and letting it do what it wants to do, not giving two shits who says how busted it looks. Beyonce don’t need your approval, she knows it looks fantastic. Just like America, this weave is big and doesn’t give a fuck. Two morals, I’m sure my girl holds true to her heart. Happy Fourth everyone! May your day be as wild and free as this weave.
This weave just shows my girl’s multifaceted-ness. Just like the rocks on those earrings, B and her weaves shine from any angle. This weave is so casual, it’s like she just put it in a pony, not a big deal. Not a big deal for her, she knows she’ll look hella fine. Look at her, lookin’ over her shoulder at those basic bitches like, “Isee you lookin’ at me. It’s not like I can’t tell err’body here is checking me out! Damn”. Don’t be looking so foolish, acting like you didn’t know Beyonce was gonna show up and blow y’all out of the water. Queen B is classy as hell, and she knows everyone knows it already, she’s just giving them a friendly reminder. If those sleazy Hollywood girls can’t handle it, guess it sucks2suck.
So, I know it’s been a while and so I missed what might possibly be the most important event in human history to date: Blue Ivy. So, this post is dedicated to my girl(s) for doin’ what they do best: lookin’ fuckin’ fabulously fierce. Look at that weave! Girl just pushed out a whole human being out of her body and that weave looks fine as hell! She don’t even look like she did nothing for it. You know it was taken close to the real birth too because Blue over there still looks all read and a little damp and shit like real fresh babies do, you know. We really must applaud Queen B’ here though because no one could do all the work of having a baby and then have a picture of her looking like “Oh, yeah, I just had this baby, you wish you did too. Ain’t nothing” A beautiful weave for a beautiful baby. Congrats, B!
Inspiration can strike at any moment, and it has just struck me. (Yeah, I know it’s been a while, but Beyoncé isn’t the only bitch who is busy. STEP OFF.) I chose this photo for a very specific reason, look closely and there are glitter strands in her hair! Yes, normally someone would look like some washed up trash-hoe who got bitch slapped by a weird zombie gay hairdresser (I’m looking at you Ms. Adrienne Maloof), but my girl, B. She is rockin’ it. And you wanna know why? Girl is staying true to her roots (see what I did there?). Always packing a special surprise, like those 8 key changes in “Love on Top”. It’s that special surprise that puts the nail in the coffin of those other basic bitches. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN.
A lof of people worry about the middle part, they feel it is not a good look. Not Beyonce. Repping a middle part to the max, B is not afraid to step out and let it shine. Not only that, she made this weave as big as she possibly could, so if you didn’t see that middle part before, you definitely gonna see it now. BAM. Hits you right in your eyes, and you realize, maybe the M-P ain’t so bad, and then you realize again, that Beyonce could make a wet, drowned rat tied to her head with a towel look good, so move on.
The look on B’s face says it all about this weave. “Who the hell you lookin’ at? Damn straight, you turn the hell away. Get outta my sight” Beyonce’s always keeping it fierce, keeping it strong and there ain’t nobody who’s going to challenge that no how. She has to have a weave to back that attitude up and none does it better than this. People would kill to have this kind of hair, KILL. Beyonce has it, so, remember, she on top.
This weave may not be as glamorous as past weaves you’ve seen (it may not even be a weave, but work with me). This weave represents B getting back to her roots. You know, she out chillin’ with her boo-thang, she just gotta let it flow naturally and be the way she wants it to be. She don’t care what people say, she’s letting it all flow out. Looks damn fine doing it too. Hatas gon’ make her famoussss.
On this day of days, B can not be worried about her hair getting err’which way, she needs it simple and needs it to work with the activities of today, given the tradition of 4/20. This weave is simple, it’s up, she don’t care. You know why she’s allowed to not care? Because she’s fucking Beyonce. It’s messy but she still looks fierce, a feat only Beyonce can pull off, so don’t even try.